Ammendment 26--Who are YOU Going to Listen to?

Ok...it's not even 10 am and I have a heavy burden and a large headache. I was trying to clean this neglected, messy house before Miss Rivers, princess of our hill,comes home from kindergarten. I realized, however, I could not continue my day as planned. I had this overwhelming nudge to do some research and share on my blog an issue dear to my heart. I am talking about the upcoming election on November 8 when we are allowed in the state of Mississippi to vote yes, or no, on the issue of the definition of a person.

I have been grieved as I have heard and read comments that didn't seem to line up with what I knew to be fact. I have learned through the years terminology goes a long way and when money is at stake, it is often used in selective ways. In this case...lies. Now, I am not trying to cause a great debate but I know my life's call is to speak on behalf of the unborn and countless women who have fallen prey to the lies of this terminology.

First of all, lets sort out truth from the lies. I was unaware just what was said in the vote no on 26 material so...I googled it and was certainly filled with much reading material. As I read, I could feel blood rush to my head and I really felt sick. The more I read, I just sat in disbelief . I knew these accusations were false but I kept reading. Some statements...I really hoped were true, but most, I knew for a fact were false. However, in order to be objective...I kept reading and taking notes as I went. I will admit, I found the accusations rather disturbing and hoped in my rebuttal I would prove them to be false.

Thankfully, when that part was over, I researched the websites for the vote yes. Well, honestly, the difference was literally like light and darkness. I began to check each statement made from the notes I had taken from the vote no sites. I was not at all surprised by my discoveries , however don't understand how , or why, exactly the Planned Parenthood and ACLU seem to convince so many that this is correct. I would like to share a few of my findings.


1. The pill will be banned--(all birth control)
THIS IS A LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL! There is no truth to that and is ridiculous. However, the Morning After pill and RU486 (the abortion pill), will be banned I believe. This is administered AFTER intercourse so it would or could interfere with human life. For more actual information, feel free to dig for yourself. However, read both sides and better yet, read accounts from ladies that actually took the abortion pill and how if effected them.

2. No more In-Vitro Fertilization--
Again...not true! However it will be assuring the safety of the eggs that are not used. By law, they will not be allowed to be destroyed.

3. The mother's life will be sacrificed in order to save the child.
NOT TRUE! In the hard cases of this occurrence,when the baby is unviable and the mother's life is in jeopardy, the doctor will save the mother. This happens and I am certain each case the circumstances are unique. The is no way a law could be passed to determine a pat answer for each one and it simply is made up by the industries that stand to make millions each year by feeding us this junk.

4. Women that have a miscarriage will be investigated for murder.
Perhaps this is the most ridiculous yet. LIE LIE LIE!! This was not considered a crime before Roe vs Wade and certainly will not be after.


I know there are many other facts mentioned on both sides but these were ones most important to me personally. I have heard many testimonies of people that walked away from the abortion industry that say it is all about the money. Face it, millions of dollars are made each year in clinics all across our country. I heard a former doctor and owner of one clinic talk about the earlier they get a young girl..the better. For example, if someone age 14 came in to terminate her pregnancy , they could count on her at least having 2 to 3 more. Check it out for yourself. You can read both sides to realize it doesn't add up. Also, it is a known fact in the industry that many facts 'set in stone' were basically made up. Pro -Abortionist will deny it all day, but that doesn't make it less true. Many people don't even realize that Norma McCorvey, the lady in Roe VS Wade, did not even have an abortion and is a born again Christian and now is extremely vocal in the Pro Life arena. Wonder why someone that started all this could be so different now. She is worth the google....I suggest you study up on her.


Well, I certainly don't know every fact on either side of this issue, nor am I trying to be a radical. However, if standing in the gap for the life of an unborn baby is radical...oh well...I guess I am then. By the way, the word fetus simply means as an unborn baby . It has been used however to dehumanise a child once again. The most absurd statement I read was someone trying to assume they knew when God put a soul in a person. Now I have no idea if they were being sarcastic or what but clearly they did not know the true God. (Or His word) Psalms 139 states clearly that He created each of us in our mother's womb. There are many passages throughout the Bible but that happens to be my all time favorite. This person even suggested that God maybe didn't even put a soul in a child that He knew would be aborted. Ok...that's enough. Each of us are 'fearfully and wonderfully made"Ps 139:14 It goes on to say in that Psalm in v 16 that He saw are unformed substance. In His book were written all the days ordained for us. EVEN BEFORE WE EVEN WERE!

This is tender to me and amazingly too that this vote takes place in November. See, November is a very special month for me. I used to dread to see the month come around but because my past has been redeemed by the blood of Jesus...it is the most special to me now. I have a heart for the unborn because you see, I have two babies than never lived one day on this earth but I know live in heaven with Jesus Himself. On November 4,1984, I was a senior in high school. My boyfriend, now husband, was a freshman in college and we were broken up. At 8 weeks, I aborted our baby. I was told at the clinic during what they call "counseling"...that is was just a blob of tissue...not a baby. I was also given the pill. Yeah, right...found out it was the lowest dosage and of course I was counted as a shoe in to come back. Sure enough, Hank and I got back together and 3 months later I was pregnant again. This time..we were married and had a beautiful baby girl.(now 26 year old beautiful lady) I remember during the abortion, that I was awake during, begging them to stop. I was screaming and crying. This nurse in a very cold tone said, "Honey, this is nothing like labor... this will be over soon." Having our Kati I remembered that and although yes...IT HURT BADLY....I remember in my heart thinking...but this is life...not death....and I am bringing this baby home. There is so much more to this story but I know first hand about abortion. It is something talked about but not by the ones that have not been healed by the Word of God...by the Great Physician Himself. I could not even utter the word much less admit I had had one. I certainly knew even then, deep down, it was wrong. I was also not a Christian at the time. Believe me...saying you are and being one are very different. But even in the time apart from walking with the Lord, I knew if was wrong to take my child's life. I gave my life to Him at 19 years old in 1986 a year after Kati was born. I was forgiven for the abortion but healing came much much later. In 1987 we had our precious Marykelli and in 1994...we were expecting again. At 2 months, I went into labor and was rushed to the hospital. It was awful and I lost a ton of blood and looked like my liver, but it was the baby. I had a DNC but it was all too familiar. Of course I was asleep but the entire event was the same. The date was November 20 but still in November...10 years almost to the day. I realized the only difference in the babies was we wanted one desperately and didn't want the other.

The story has so much more to it but know that God used the two babies greatly in our live. I jokingly say they are joined at the hip . God used the miscarried baby to introduce us to our aborted baby. He healed a failing marriage, a woman that suffered greatly from post abortion syndrome, and brought our family close to Him with Jesus in the dead center. Hey...in May of 1996...He gave us the gift of our Walt. GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD!

Do my babies matter...do they have a soul?? Yes, they do. Although what Satan meant for evil...God will and is using for good. I pray because of my children born into heaven, lives will be spared on this earth. The hearts of women have suffered silently long enough....be careful as you vote. Choose wisely. Talk to God about it. Say you are a Christian...then listen to the Holy Spirit within you...plumb line it to His WORD.

God gave me this song during my healing. It has been recorded but always is sung in the form of a prayer. It has been re written and adjusted and even re named over the years but in closing...I am sharing the original version with you. God bless you all...God bless our children.


Child of the King

Lord, we come on our knees,
For our children, we have never seen,
We gave them to you, long ago,
Please forgive us, for now we know,
Pain, bitterness and grief,
Lord, it's your mercy we seek.

Lord, are they gathered all around,
You, as your watching o're us now,
Do they know their mommies love them so,
And we're sorry that we made them go,
And the lies that we believed,
Now we know, we had been deceived.

And they, live with The KING,
We know with You, they have everything,
Do they know, the tears that we've cried,
And we long to hold them by our side.

Lord, your amazing grace abounds,
In Your light, each of us have found,
A peace, that calls us to your throne,
To a love, like we've never known.
Lord, we can almost hear them say,
"I forgive you, Mommy, it's ok.."

"And I , live with The KING,
You know with Him, I have everything,
There's no need for tears, anymore...
You'll hold me when you see...our LORD."


Amen...and God bless

Prologue to my book--Michaels Heart

I have been quite the recluse it seems. One of my friends informed me if I wanted to have any friends left, I must finish this book. I noticed I had not written a blog since June....that is crazy! I will admit that this writing adventure has taken a chunk out of my life! The story seemed to take on a life all it's own. I intend on getting back into the normal groove of blogging because it's such therapy for me .Now that I am in the editing phase of the book...there is more freedom to think beyond the realms of my book.

The name of the book is "Michael's Heart" and ,of course, it's a love story. I personally think it shares a very unique view of unconditional love. The main character is Colbie Hunnington Gellar whose career is writing commercial jingles for local radio and television stations. The story unfolds throughout her life as Colbie finally discovers her Michael...the love of her life. She discovers this love in the most unique place I would like to add. I believe this story will capture your heart and imagination in a way that you never have even thought of.

I want to thank all who have encouraged me by reading my blog over the past year because you were the driving force that pushed me to write this book. It is fiction but truth is laced in now and then...especially during the first several chapters. I would like to share with you now the Prologue to this book. I hope you enjoy and it makes you want more.


Prologue


Colbie

I can’t remember my life when I didn’t hear the music. Within each note there lies a symphony and upon hearing it’s beauty … something deep inside my soul is unleashed. Certainly there are different pieces of music that affects me in a variety of ways of course. Thankfully, there are enough chord progressions in this world to match the many moods as one such as I. I feel the term ‘moody’ has been given quite a negative shadow cast on it over the years though. I have been labeled ‘moody’ more than once in my life, and I will admit that I am just that. However, I chose years ago to reclaim that term in a more positive light. I truly view my ‘moodiness’ as a gift that was placed inside me when I was created. It is almost like a brand new surprise each morning that I get to open and am never certain what that will be. The first time I realized that my feelings, or mood, could be affected by music came around the tender age of four. “Puff the Magic Dragon” was my very first favorite song, and I played the record over and over and over. I distinctly remember my black mama telling me to let my little blue record player rest because it was exhausted. Now I knew that was not possible but eventually, I would get my fill of the song and turn it off. I remember sitting on my Winnie the Pooh bedspread listening to that song and feeling sad as I heard the words sing of little Johnny Paper not coming to play with the dragon anymore. To this day, I haven’t a clue what that song actually means, but I know what I heard in my little girl heart….I heard sad. I could feel the dragon’s pain and wanted to cry every time. I know now that the words had something to do with it, but my soul still seriously responds to a minor chord and that song certainly had them. Well, just as I do now, I would finally get my music fix and move on to my next favorite song. Although at that age I had no idea what love really even was about, I did know something happened deep inside me whenever I listened to music. Deep inside my soul…. something was stirring and the mystery that surrounded it would follow me into adulthood. I relate it to when a person falls in love for the first time. I know that love is not a feeling, but I think it’s a really good possibility that it started out with one. You know---that ‘thing’ that drew you to that special someone in your life. Maybe not even the actual meeting or getting to know one another as much as was the quest for that person. The intensity that surrounds just the mere thought of the first encounter you will have with “The One”, or in my case ….“Him”. The deep longing… the ache…. the breathlessness at the thought of the love of your life .How well I remember the first time I felt the haunting, yet exciting, yearning deep inside my inner being as I thought of “Him”. It was something that kept me excited because I always believed there was one man in this world created just for me. This ache was so strong and many times it felt the same way as it did when I let myself get lost in my music. This is when the artist in me was born, I believe. With this passion, all these feelings would eventually find a voice and give birth to my songs, poems, and many other things. My biggest fear was that I would miss “Him” or worse…it would be too late when we did finally come face to face. I always felt I would recognize “Him” the instant our eyes met. It sounds like something along the lines of love at first sight, I suppose, but much deeper than that. I always felt he was looking for me too and would just know me when he saw me as well. In every one I dated, I was always wondering if behind their eyes might just be the love I had longed for. I know this sounds like a typical teen-aged girl in love with the idea of love, and it may be, however; the deep connection I began to realize between finding the love of my life and music became more and more evident as the years passed. I have never been able to find adequate words to describe the journey my heart made to discover the answers I had sought all my life. Until now, the words have remained silently tucked away inside me but the time has come when the silence can no longer remain. It is now the time that my voice, my heart, and my very soul must be heard. Finally…..the silence will be broken. Listen closely with your heart as this story unfolds and you too may hear the music.”.



~~~~~~~~~~


“It’s not what you look at….it’s what you see.”--Michael

The Lizzy Miracle

In reflecting over this past year…it sure has been what we call here in the south “ a doozy”! I certainly don’t wish to repeat one like it, but I must say that God, once again, has shown Himself faithful. We all are in a much better place this Thanksgiving than last year hands down. You know, in James 1:2 it says, “Consider it all joy ,my brethren, when you encounter various trials.” Now for years in my early walk with the Lord, that one made me scratch my head! Surely the joy in the Bible didn’t mean J-O-Y . You know…joy , joy! Well, I am afraid it most certainly does. It took a little while to realize joy and happiness were totally opposite. Happiness, of course , depends on circumstances while joy is from deep within. True joy must come from God. And nothing at all can steal that joy!!! The enemy certainly will try. I tell you…this year was tough. I have had my heart broken by watching my family endure one of the hardest things ever. Nothing breaks a mother’s heart like watching one of her babies hurt and not being able to do one thing about it. On top of that, my family had to face the fallout from that painful situation. Words getting twisted, and those twisted words believed by others- Loss of close friendships that were rooted deep inside our hearts- not being able to mend broken relationships and having to heal without reconciliation. These things literally shattered me! Nothing has ever broken my heart just like it. And knowing that I hurt others, even though not on purpose, but just the same, I hurt others as well. My heart aches just remembering…however, God is Jehovah Rapha….God who heals! And healing is exactly what He’s been doing! Every single member of our little family is in a better place than we were last year. Our lives are in God’s hands and He is in control and there is so much to be thankful for! I would start naming a few but could never stop so just know I am overwhelmingly thankful for every blessing that God has given me. I have love, so much love, in my heart for those also I never got to bridge that awful gap with also. In my heart, I pray God has truly let them know that in their hearts also.(I KNOW He has been working and blessing them as well- which is one of the things I too am thankful for) Back to this “consider it all joy” business. Well, I told my Hank just this morning I could honestly say I really am thankful this is all over and thankful that ,even though Satan taunted and taunted me and my heart was hardened for a while, my joy remained. See, this was not my first rodeo with Satan trying to steal my joy. No…that scoundrel has been after me since 1986(that’s when I gave my life to Jesus) and bet He’ll try me till I see Jesus face to face!! (But…WE WIN) I know he came to “steal, kill, and destroy” but my God says.. “I’ll never leave you or forsake you” . I know this isn’t so but I like to think God put the verse, “Lo, I am with you always..” in the Bible just for me. It’s true…He’s always , always with us. I will never forget the first time I really began to understand all this. It was actually 16 years ago today. November 20,1994. It was a Sunday morning and I was 3 months pregnant. I woke up in labor and was rushed to the Tupelo hospital where we lost our little baby. I WAS A MESS!!! That day , God took the “D” in disappointment and changed the D to and “H” and made ‘Dis appointment’ –‘His appointment’ because that day changed the course of the rest of my life. I will not , at this time, go into all the ways this took place but it started with taking God at His word!!!(as Beth Moore says, “I’m believing God”) Then choosing to walk in it out in obedience—and He did the rest. It took time…but oh…DID IT WORK!! That is also exactly why we have been married for 25 years and it was cause to celebrate and take that cruise! Did God want or cause me to lose our baby…why of course not!!! However, he sure used it to His glory. It’s all about choosing God in every situation. Have I always chosen God’s way?? Let’s say one way or the other, He knows how to get my attention. He’s allowed me to take the long way many times only to show up exhausted and repentant. Think that’s just what He had in mind. Humbled and bowed at His feet. (best place you’ll ever be) Let me go back to November 1994 for a bit. God sent a friend into my life a few years earlier named Chrissy . I know now that God sends forever friends and seasonal friends into our lives.I really thought she was a forever friend but now there’s no doubt … she was a very special seasonal friend. Now, we’d been friends for a couple of years and had dealt with a lot of life together. We were thrilled to be pregnant at the same time. She was further along and her baby(“boy”) was due in December. As hard as it must have been for her mama to call me on the evening of November 21, 1994 to tell me Chrissy had gone into pre- mature labor, it was as if God had it planned all along. I was in a fog and my heart was depleted. I had cried until I had no more tears and had been in bed all day. It was about 8 PM when she called to tell me that Chrissy had gone into labor that morning a month early and it was not a boy…IT WAS A GIRL!!! She and her husband named her Lori Elizabeth. They call her Lizzy. Tears… many tears….flowed straight from my heart. I could just feel God there in the kitchen chair with me as He hugged my soul with those words of her birth. I have a love for that little girl.(Not so little anymore…she’ll be 16 tomorrow) Although I haven’t seen her in years, she(AND her dear mama) will forever remain in my heart. God used that little baby and her family to help begin to heal a very broken heart! I am so glad I didn’t allow Satan to steal my joy at that time of suffering. I may have missed the blessing of Lizzie!! I could have been upset that she was allowed to be born and my baby wasn’t but I didn’t choose that option… and PRAISE GOD, I didn’t miss it! I was counting it all joy even though I did not ‘feel’ like it. Those emotions sure are unpredictable!! Mine sure change like the wind.(POOR HANK) But My God is “Faithful and True”!!! AMEN AND AMEN Have you noticed God loving on you? I’ll bet if you stop right now, you can think back of times He’s loved you through a situation. If not, maybe you weren’t looking. Don’t miss your “ Lizzy miracle”!! If God did that for me…He’ll show you His love as well. Don’t miss it!!! Keep your heart eyes open because He loves to lavish His love on His babies! Open your arms wide so He can just snuggle you right next to Him so close you can feel His heart beat. Listen…hear it? Let’s truly give Him our thanks and praise this Thanksgiving…and maybe we can make everyday be a day of giving thanks in our hearts! Happy Thanksgiving friends! God bless each of you! And I am praying a special blessing for you Miss Lizzy! Hope you have a wonderful 16th birthday!!

LO

Just Flying Around With God

Hank and I are sitting in the Memphis airport because our plane has been delayed for 2 hours. We should have known when we stopped at Starbucks and the total was $6.66. MERCY! There should be a rule to automatically up the amount up one cent in a case like that. Ya think? We boarded our plane and waited only to be informed there was a problem getting fuel into one engine because the handle broke.(That’s just what I wanted to hear) But wait—there’s more! After we got off the plane, within minutes , we were told to board back onto the plane—ONLY TO WAIT!!! Again, we were informed of the same problem they never had fixed and were told to get off for the second time! Well, our obstacle course in getting here began long before we actually ended up here. Weeks ago, Hank had been for his annual check-up at our family doctor’s office for insurance purposes.(pretty routine) Well, the outcome wasn’t pretty routine. He was told he had high cholesterol and high blood pressure and was immediately written a medication for both. That weekend he and I were out of town on a weekend retreat and by Saturday night, he was having a definite reaction to the meds. Well, after that scare, he was told when he reported back to the doc to stop usage at once and they would try to find meds more suitable for his system. Well, as if that weren’t enough, he then developed gout in his elbow! Bless him!! So…he battled that and then I got a really bad sinus infection.(listen closely and you may hear the actual violins in the background) Yesterday ,Hank took me to get a shot and a z pack before we left for South Haven to spend the night with his brother. Thought we would save time by staying overnight…HA HA!(Ahem…delayed flight) Well, so glad we stayed with Ryan though.(like I knew I was even there because I was stoned on prescription cough syrup!!) Hank also took me to get a spray tan after we left the doctor’s office so…I had on his pj bottoms, a zip-up sweat jacket, house shoes, and no make up on. Everyone knows you just can’t put on regular clothes after a spray tan , so I had to wear loose clothing. I know I was not really feeling up to getting that spray tan, but there was NO WAY I was going to the Bahamas looking like an Irishman.( or Irishwoman should I say) As my friend Tammy told me once, “Dark fat looks better than white fat”! So…fever or no fever…. I got sprayed!!! Now, we are waiting. Hey, but on our on board/off board experience, we met the couple across the aisle from us. They are from Arkansas and are too going to Bahamas on the same cruise ship as us.{ PRETEND IT’S A COMMERCIAL HERE..A DAYS OF OUR LIVES PROMO WOULD WORK FOR ME} Well, I now return to you from 35,000 feet in the air!!! Yes folks, we FINALLY are in the air! Hank just said, “This is a new high for ‘LO’”! I think that’s clever. Well, anyway, we are in the sky and I have my laptop, ipod, and diet coke. Life is good! I’ll say it was interesting being stranded in the airport. People always just fascinate me. On the way out the first time, I realized I was sharing this flight with Dr. Watt Bishop…he was my orthodontist when I was in high school.( Of course I had to go speak to him.) Then, as we just sat there…I listened to the different conversations around me.(Me? Nosey? Why yes… maybe just a little) Some were talking of lunch plans, some were fussing about the delay, and some….I didn’t understand one single word they said! Felt like I was at the nail salon getting fake nails. Lol Hint: they don’t speak English very well to say the least! It just amazes me to see the variety of people God has created. The song I am listening to is a Billy Squire song called “Nobody Knows” . I love this song. Of course it was just one on a random album not ever made popular.( we are experiencing terrible turbulence…hope you all get chance to read this blog -lol)Man, this shaking of the plane just made me drop the complimentary peanuts down my shirt! Well.. anyway…. the song I was listening to talks about nobody really knows what’s going on inside in someone else. No one knows the dreams, fears, or insecurities we each experience. It goes on to say everybody has a place and time. “ We all have something that we care about and I propose that we find it out”. Now that is what Billy Squire says…a musician from the 80’s. But God’s word says in Jeremiah 29:11 “for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, to bring you a hope and a future.” Man that God is good!!! I feel much better hearing that quote from Him rather from some song that Billy Squire sang. (no offence Billy -but…..) I’ll admit , flying around the friendly skies…that scripture takes on a whole new meaning!! I do love how I can leave all I am in God’s hands and He is such a God of order and perfect love that I can trust him with my past, present, and future.(and flight) It’s all time to Him!!(oooo…He’s shaking the plane around just to make sure He has my attention) The answerer is “Yes Sir, Lord…I’m all ears, eyes, and everything else You’d have me be”! I brought my computer bag as my carry-on and stuck few items of clothing in just in case they lost my luggage.(and I’d have fresh clothes to shop for new clothes with the voucher I’d get from airline.) And I am so glad I did stick extra underwear in there because I am going to pee in my pants the next big shake of the plane.(sorry I said pee on my blog Mama) OH ME!!! Anyone that knows me well knows this is so true about me though! Lol Well, I know I have watched too many movies. Airplane, Snakes on a Plane, all Airplane movies from 70’s –you know those---when they barely land the plane…. You get the picture. Come to think of it, a swig of my cough syrup may have been a good idea for this flight! Lol Really, the view is breathtakingly beautiful and it reminds me of how tiny we all are. Even the earth is too actually. In this flight, we have a oil rig worker, sales rep, orthodontist, and a nail tech that I know for sure. Many different people with a variety of backgrounds, world and religious views…just all different in general. But…God created each of us. Like it or not….we really are all equal. Not one is more or less significant in God’s eyes. Yes.. “ He’s got the whole world, in His hands, He’s got the whole world, in His hands, He’s got the whole world, in His hands, He’s got the whole world in His hands”. Well, I can bet it He can hold us all in His hands, imaging what else He can do. Talk about a shoulder to lean on….WOW!!! I am thankful He loves me and is holding me close. Even those times I hurt so bad I wanted to blame Him because everyone else seemed to be blaming me. He has loved me when I bucked Him, ran from Him, and kicked and screamed while digging my heels into the ground only to find out God was smiling saying, “oh yes you will, Lori”. Through all my brokenness and hard headedness, I am so thankful he chose to love me “Through It All”—HE LOVED ME AND STILL DOES!! Now there’s a song…Mr. Andre Crouch… “ If I never had a problem, how would I know He could solve them?” Amen!! “What a Mighty God We Serve” Well, whatever you find yourself doing this week, notice what and who you are around you. This very well may be part of God’s plan. Yep, even a “random” trip to Wal Mart may be a mission He has sent you on that only YOU can do. Listen to him. Let Him be your pilot. I know I am SOOOOO thankful, along with the other passengers, that I am not flying this plane! Well, living on our own is almost as silly as me flying this plane. Let’s all remember to let THE PILOT fly our plane. He knows the correct pressure our gages we need for our flight to be a success, the right amount of fuel we need to get there(and how to fix any leaks we may not even know about to arrive safely to our destination) , and can not only get us to our precise designation, but see that we land safely! Now, we can not ask for more than that. So, thank Him now and then move out of His way and let’s let Him be God and Lord of our lives! Well, it’s time for me to pack up my laptop and I had best go take a potty break before we hit another air pocket or ‘Lo’s going to blow!’ Remember, Hank is sitting beside me and his humor is infectious! Besides, this is all I know for now!!

LO

The Song Inside

My ipod is one of my new favorite things!! As I have mentioned in prior blogs, it plays the soundtrack of my life! Many genres are represented and are equipped to accompany any mood that I may find myself in at any time of day.(or usually night) Even though my personality may scream sanguine…I really have more of a melancholy personality. I love to put my earphones in my ears and just transport to where I can completely unplug from my world for a little while.(I have been doing that a lot lately it seems)The thing I have enjoyed the MOST about downloading music on i-tunes is I have , at my fingertips, any song my heart desires!! OH MY!!! This is a music lovers dream come true! Growing up we bought a 45 record or an album. My favorite pastime was to here a song somewhere and try to guess who I thought the musician was then----“hunt” for a match! Example: Did any of you happen to know that I am a Days of Our Lives fan? (ha ha—calm down..it’s just a joke) Anyway, I remember many days during my teen years hearing a song on an episode and thinking..hey, I know that voice! Sure enough…matched Peabo Bryson, Eric Carmen , and several others! One that I fell in love with from that show is on my I pod today. Eric Carmen has been one of my favorites for decades. His hits were ‘Never Gonna Fall in Love Again’ –‘Hungry Eyes’—‘All By Myself’(His version is much better than Celien’s in my opinion-and do I sound a bit like Casey Kasem or is that just me?) My favorite, however, was never popular but debuted on Days in summer of 1983 and was entitled ‘The Way We Used to Be’. I will never forget matching his voice and FINALLY locating the album in the mall in Oxford! I was equally thrilled finding it on i tunes! Hey, some people collect dishes, shoes, jewelry, etc…I collect music! I can’t remember not being absolutely in love with it!!! My very first favorite song was ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’. My family would beg me to turn off my little blue record player and try to convince me it was tired! Lol ( that never worked) My second obsession was David Cassidy at age 4. OH MY!!! Still have 3 Partridge Family albums but didn’t feel urge to download on I tunes.( sorry David, please forgive me-Shaun, you too.. I once loved you as well) My love is for such an array of music. I am listening to the ‘Phantom of the Opera’ at this moment , but my I pod is on shuffle so KISS may bust out next! I have some Garth, Mariah,James Ingrim, Barry Manilow, Elton John, Josh Groban,Lori Harrington, classical , Billy Joel, Jessica Simpson , GLADYS KNIGHT, and TONS more! I never know what’s next! (kind of like life – ya think—and that was a little exciting putting my name among those greats!) One thing I have gotten a kick out over the years is hearing lyrics in a song that I HAD WRITTEN LONG before that song was even a thought. Guess it should upset me that I never got that credit but I’m just grateful I had a great idea for a song! I wrote my very first song at age 15 years old after my favorite teacher in high school,MRS HILL, challenged us during our poetry section to write our own. Well, that started it all…..took me fifteen minutes to write “It Was You” . A dear friend of mine had been killed in a car wreck the year prior and much was inside me ---so, the music therapy begin! What healing! Oh my that was the greatest thrill or so I thought…few weeks later my AMAZING voice teacher , Jane Smith, played my melody.DID SHE EVER!!!!!!! It was a REAL song! We took it to a local guy that had a make-shift studio in his house. Drums, base and acoustic guitar were added…..OH MY!!! I recorded it and my musical dreams were born , and my life long love affair with creating music or birthing whatever is inside me that needs to be expressed! I even was sent to the Mid-South Fair in Memphis with that song! Later, I went on to write many more and still crank out a few now and then. I play my own keyboard now though. (ear only—don’t be impressed) Enough to send for a copyright though. One song on my I pod is ‘All My Life’ by K-Ci & Jojo! (ooo “Aubrey” by Bread just came on!!---love it) Anyway, I will never forget hearing that song for the first time and hearing “You picked me up when I was down” ---my lyrics from 1983 ‘It Was You’ --“You picked me up so high I thought I never would come down”-----that was pretty cool!! And once in an Elton John song in the 90’s he had used an identical chord progression as me !(Tabb Dendy witnessed that!) Often little reminders of my past lyrics or music pop up and always make me smile! People often ask me if my songs are inspired or made up! I’ll say ...both. Now, one of my personal favorites that I wrote in 1989 was “Winds of Change”. (Actually won Gum Tree Songwriter’s Contest with it) Sounds like a true love song , and while it may have had 'hint' of past remembrance in it ,but the main source of inspiration was we were FLAT BROKE! I find I write the best music when I am in a TRUE TRUE mellow funk!(weird or unique—use which word you prefer) It’s like I can’t rest until I have truly given birth to a song…everything I have ends up being poured into a song I’m writing. My feeble attempt at the piano always becomes a full symphony in my head and heart. The words are always in there, they just have to surface to my heart and onto paper! I’m always exhausted but ecstatic after I’ve completed a song! It’s been a few years since I have written a song. Oh, we have had PLENTY of drama but haven’t had the desire that I have to get before I can write a song. Where has it gone? I wonder if my song is gone or just hiding? My biggest fear is not to feel the words or music or to lose my passion. How dull life must be for someone who lives without passion.(James Ingrum…”How Do You Keep the Music Playing is on now—BEAUTIFUL) I think the most miserable soul in this world is the one who had passion and misplaced it---or IGNORED it so long they forgot it… Or just flat lost it!! That would be death to a part of them…. A part I truly believe God created for a purpose. You know someone , I am sure , who just gave up on dreams , people, or maybe even life because they didn’t see it working the way they thought it would. Well, my question is does anything really turn out the way anyone thinks??? Heavens NO!! I don’t really think one part of my life was what I expected it to be….but what happy a surprise most of it’s been! When my girls would be having a life crisis growing up, we’d get out the spoons and Blue Bell and TALK TALK TALK…and with Marykelli, we’d always CRY CRY CRY too!! But to both of them I’d remind them that it was ALWAYS something next! Expect it and be excited because change was inevitable…life always happens!! I still tell myself and my girls this.(Walt doesn’t really care right now—boys are different) Just like my I pod shuffle…..it’s always surprise what’s next!(Bryan’s Song is on now…one I wrote for Marykelli…good one and good timing) I thought at one time, because I lived in Houston, that my dreams couldn’t come true…well, I’m still alive and have a lot of living to do!! My dreams come true every day in one way or the other! I wrote a children's book back in 1990 and am about to send it to a publisher.(Marykelli illistrated it when she grew up) Will they say no..yes..will I hear anything at all... WHO CARES?? I will have done it…and hey, do you know how many publishers are in this world? I also have recorded several songs in my life in a studios from Nashville and all over Mississippi. Not that I could have “made it”, but realized early on that I’d rather have my family than that lifestyle !! I still record in studios but now just because I love it! So , I have peace knowing I accomplished part of that dream. Enough of it to know that God had a different dream weaving inside my heart . His are always BEST! Imagine that! That God sure is good! Well, I am sleepy and am headed for bed. Maybe I will write a song soon but even though it may not manifest…I realize that I always have a song inside. ALWAYS. Sometimes I forget to stop and hear the music but that doesn't mean it's not there now does it? And I always need to remember...that is where I find the words also! It’s part of me…it’s who I am. And who knows what’s next….but you can bet ….SOMETHING IS!!Get excited…life is happening... (Aww Man…. “Sometimes When We Touch” by Dan Hill is on now----LOVE IT)
Well, that’s all for now…my music and I are going to sleep. OH WAIT…”When Doves Cry” just came on! Going to bed AFTER I try once more to remember our cheerleader dance we did to this song senior year.(No wonder I can never sleep) My what's next happens so fast sometimes.

All for now....
LO

Well, Stuff Just Happens

I’m sitting in my den having some computer lessons via texts from Lindsey Ellen! The girl knows everything!!! This ‘cut and paste’ thing is just crazy! I have been trying to figure it out for years now….still no luck. Well, there’s always a first! I don’t have wi-fi at home so I go to Hardee’s each time I need to do anything.( Let me give a shout out to them—they are GREAT!!!) However, I really want to be able to write at home some…so I am having a lesson. I have cleaned the house, done the laundry, and now I have some time before I get Walt from school. (Still can’t believe my baby is in high school!!) Now, it’s all I can do NOT to turn my DVR recording of “Days of Our Lives”!! I have to wait though until the sun goes down and it’s not so hot out. I get so mad , I want to smoke …so I walk! (good idea huh?) My girl, Sami , is not only NOT going to marry Ej, SHE IS GOING TO SHOOT HIM… IN THE HEAD!!!! Oh my word! Now I’m a huge EJAMI fan( Ej and Sami fan for those who don’t speak “Days”) so this is rather upsetting!!! So, I am going to wait until the entire bunch can watch it with me. Fun yelling with others at the TV and then I don’t feel so ridiculous. In “Days of our Lives”world, a shot in the head will be cleared up in no time as if you had had a common cold, IF you are a vital character(Once, Philip lost his leg in the war..but he must have grown a new one because they never mention it and he no longer walks with a limp..so a head wound is a piece of cake) But who knows if they’ll end up together! He won’t remember, of course the amnesia card will be used, but if Papa Stephano finds out Samantha Brady shot Elvis Jr….oh me! And so on and so on….I know, I know…my name is Lori Harrington, and I have an addiction!! Well, my entire week has just been off it seems. I love, love , love to bathe. Nothing is much better than a good bath to me. I always have to adjust the water after I actually get in. Well, the other day, I was letting the water get good and hot and --BAM--the ENTIRE SPOUT shot off and a straight stream of water was just coming at me! Scared me TO DEATH!!!!!!!!!! Well, when my heart calmed down, I did enjoy my bath.Then the other night, went to Hardee’s(woo hoo) and sat in parking lot and got on my computer. Guess who didn’t turn key off all the way.Yep, me. So, you can see where this is going, just having an off week.(My Hank has many jewels in his crown for living with me…do you know how many times I have called him in the late hour because of car difficulties?) Once I got stranded at Tupelo Wal -Mart Super Center … LATE! I was not tired so about 9 pm , I decided I needed to go get some things for Walt’s party he was having the next day. Well, Hank said sure and went to bed. (Bless him, he needs to rest when he can)Got north of town and realized I had no gas.(Remember, I said GAS) So, I stopped at a quick stop on the outskirts of town. I may have come to my senses had it not been for the AWFUL filth coming from the young man’s truck beside me!!! Nasty rap music blaring ….DISGUSTING!!! Well, he went to pay and LEFT HIS TRUCK AND MUSIC ON….LOUDLY!!! Well, I stopped, went in to pay , and he and I came face to face at register. I thought this was my chance to speak for everyone everywhere for noise and filth pollution!! So…I asked him” Are you a Christian?” He said yes he was. I said that I bet God wasn’t too happy about that music because the Holy Spirit inside me was about to have a fit! He just smiled and walked out. I think the clerk may have been afraid I was going to get her next. I smiled the entire time but still think these young people saw me as “the church lady” from SNL back in the day.(Dana Carvey) Oh well, I turned my music up very loud and off I went! ( NO-NOT RAP) Got to Wal- Mart, stayed for hours- Had a blast- No interruptions- Felt so grown up!! Got to my truck,MY DIESEL TRUCK, at 12;30 am. Guess what????? Yep, would not crank! Having no clue why, I called my Hank!(Did I mention the jewels in his crown-No wonder he has to go to bed early…I may make him tired)I had jumper cables so I went inside and found an employee to help jump me off. No luck. So, at 1:30 am, my Hank pulls up in parking lot. I had no idea that massive truck had 2 batteries.(the employee didn’t either.) Miraculously, we cranked the truck and made it home safely.( about 3 am--I would like to add how much I love my husband! He smiled…. Never fussed once… That man must really love me) Anyway, it wasn’t until the next day, when the truck wouldn’t crank- AGAIN- just what the problem was. As I told Hank step by step about the night and was sharing my moment of Christian witnessing ---his mouth DROPPED!!! I was thinking he was pretty impressed with my witnessing skills until he responded with “You put GAS in a DIESEL????” I said” oops.” He found out a few days later to put transmission fluid into the gas tank and it cleared it right up . Never had another moments trouble!! (that was a close one) Even when it isn’t so close-- he always has had the patience of Job with me! Like the time I almost ran over myself going into the post office and forgot to put Explorer in park.Luckily, I jumped out of the way but hit the post office.(with my 3 kids in car) Thankfully no one was hurt!!! Then there was the time I knocked the post from under the carport and it rolled down the hill on side of the house that Christmas Eve. Oh , the list is endless….but looking back, I was paving the way for our daughter Kati! Next to her, my driving skills are looking good!! Marykelli says we should just wrap her in caution tape! Well, I taught her ALMOST everything she knows. Some , she came up with all by herself!! Well, I have just rambled alot and now I’m going to get my baby. (Don’t worry, I’ll drive safely) At least I tell Hank about my mishaps with the car unlike in high school when I ran off with the gas pump, glued the strip back on the Grand Prix after I hit mailbox, and went into the ditch with someone in the trunk. I have come a long way!! (I KNOW my parents were exhausted!!) Sorry Mama and My Daddy! Love You! And hey- --you were right as usual-- ONLY Hank could live with me….and I’m SO THANKFUL FOR THAT because that’s the only one I ever want!

That’s all I know for now,
LO

Love Never Really Says Good-bye

As I shared last time, there are things that remain in our heart long after moments are gone. It's hard to believe but some carry them around for a lifetime. Why? Well, probably for many reasons. Maybe they were afraid to look because it may hurt-maybe they thought if they looked back, they could never go forward again. Yes, some memories are painful but ignoring them and never taking them out and looking at them just makes them old AND painful. I think of old photographs that have been neglected and yellowed with age.( maybe even brittle) Well, I think of memories as pictures we take with our heart. Left unremembered , good or bad....they just fall apart and are scattered fragments that blow aimlessly to fall where they may. Now, some are wonderful! You know, recalling the "back in the day" stories among former classmates, family memories of growing up, birth of children(and grandchildren),etc....You see what I mean. Today however(and I'm overjoyed I have words at 4:40 in the afternoon) I want to talk about something tender to my heart. Now let me put the disclaimer out now...this has NOTHING to do with the Lord and His mighty hand having power to heal and make someone whole!!! (Jehovah-Rapha---God who heals) I AM PROOF OF THAT!!!!!!!!!!! So please don't feel the need to send me a trail of scripture to prove the point....I know and AGREE 100% with you! Having said that let me get to the heart of what I am talking about. I was talking with a friend of mine that I hadn't heard from in years. We discussed kids, life, jobs....life catching up stuff. Being the nosey and hopeless romantic I am.....I asked the forbidden question people usually avoid. You know , about THE ONE that someone really loved but.....life happened. Well, true to my nature, you guessed it. I came right out and asked if this guy really thought he had had a real love for this for this young lady or looking back maybe wasn't that big of deal. I really felt the latter would be the answer it being that about 30 years had past. Well, the answer was not what I really expected...or was it? People don't realize how deeply a heart can be touched and sometimes, just sometimes, the fingerprints linger a lifetime. As I began listening, I realized this gentleman had made a life and although was divorced, had wonderful children he loved very much. Seemed very content with life and a peace that the Lord only can give. You could hear in his voice the pride he had for his children and his family and many times stated how that his children were his heart and life was worth it all because of them. No regrets! As we talked some more however, he drifted back in time. (I think the FBI should hire me for interrogating people because I can worm stuff out of others that seems to have been inside for years.) True , not everyone needs or wants to hear your stuff...but many times, people need to say things out loud. As I heard the words I could also hear his heart. My heart ached as he recanted his memory of a lady he had loved very much a long,long time ago. He said he had dated girls before but when he met her....everything clicked. He just knew there was none like her and no one ever "fit" him that way before.( sad thing that got me.. or since.) Oh, he functions fine and is a very well rounded human being but my point....that soul tie is there and always will be!It seemed to be a love that very few ever get the chance to experience. Certainly was not the reason his marriage ended after a few years, but even his wife didn't touch the place she had held long ago. The thing is that I have seen over and over again is when someone holds your heart, if you don't get it back, how can you ever really give it away to someone else.And when someone touches your soul...really touches your soul....there's no way you can ever really go back. Love like that only happens once in a lifetime. You know when you can look into someones eyes and truly see their soul it seems. Well this is what I was hearing... So long ago but still so real! Then he told me the things he'd loved the most about her and above all-- wanted her to be happy more than anything. In much confusion she had left him and married someone else. He described the last time he saw her and with an unassuming grace --- he let her go. He never spoke to her or saw her again . His love was too strong to try to change her mind or barge into her life because that is what love does. It just holds loosely....so there is freedom to leave or stay. He said he often , even on family vacations, wondered as he sat on the beach, if he just may happen to run into her. And what broke my heart were the words...."and a rare day goes by that I don't think of her." Oh, the tears just filled my eyes because my heart could not contain them any longer. Later he said as we said our goodbyes that it'd been about 30 years since he'd even shared that in any detail...but I'm glad he did. It shows me first of all how thankful I am that my younger daughter is with THE LOVE OF HER LIFE! She almost missed it...and I know that her eyes had something missing as long as he was not in her life. I also realize one person can't have a love that deep without feelings being shared....not that kind of love. The saddest realization is however that although God can make all things new and take our sorrow and pasts and make all things new ....sometimes, the ache remains. We Christians, myself for sure, think we know all the answers. This man had nothing to prove or to gain. He graciously answered a nosey lady's question and that was it. Lost loves , especially when there is no closure, just leaves a haunting ache. Sometimes circumstances of our on choosing --- or whatever the reason----some just live with the fact that there is someone they will always love and they will cherish the moments that they left behind for a lifetime. I seriously doubt, unlike Hollywood, that these two ever meet up again...but in the ocean of a heart...they have never been apart! My bet is....in hers either.

Well, I am sure there is much more I don't know about this paticular story and this time....but it's all I know about it... and it's enough to close out this entry with tears in my eyes.

Lo

Where Do You Place a Pile of Memories?

I have been itching to write all day so what do I do....wait until this late hour to let the words flow. I really think I am out of my mind sometime.(I know many are agreeing with me right now out there....shame on you!! lol) It just seems I have too much rolling around inside to process. I just wish I'd begin this gathering of thoughts and feelings at a decent hour just every now and then. Oh well, I've been taking in the early signs of fall with anticipation of what this season brings. First off, cooler temperatures. Then, football...(like the IDEA , not actual game) and just fall fun in general. You know, falling leaves, fall parties, pre holiday excitement...it's my favorite time of year. But, the change in season also brings to my mind a brand new batch of memories. I read a saying today in a store that said,"Cherish yesterday, dream tomorrow, live today". Some may take my recalling the past as living there. I beg to differ, it's in recalling yesterday that I can really , really live today. I remember some time ago almost suppressing every emotion I had because I felt it took me away from my focus on the Lord or what I should have my mind on. Anything else surely was wrong to think upon. I almost depleted my imagination , as well as any passion I had, with this thought process. How silly to try and talk yourself out of the way you feel. I think it's impossible. You feel what you feel...and that's a fact. Now certainly, we should not always act on these feelings but the ones I suppressed now seem imperative that I free up. I love my memories! I love them because they are attached to people and events that I enjoyed. This may be where the strange guilt came in. You see, not every memory was one that may be what we as adults think is "honorable" but fact is, I had fun growing up and it's true , I by far always did the right thing, but I loved with ALL my heart! Friends, family, life....pure love with nothing held back. Lately, I have been thinking about so many things. Things I haven't thought of in years. Things I had decided needed to be boxed up just because it should be put up. Well, I don't think so. It's time to look in some of these boxes. One of my favorite boxes is the "love" box. There are so many different types of love. Of course the agape love that we have in Jesus is the ultimate love...unconditional...perfect love. Then we have friendship love and romantic love. I have no idea how I'll word each of the boxes I'll open but there is so much inside me right now, I know in the days to come, I'll find the words. My heart can't contain the things that have grown stale while on the shelves of my heart any longer. I almost feel I've awaken a sleeping giant....and it feels good. You know, it's time I just unstack the pile of memories that have touched me the most, take a good long look at them, breath them in-- NEVER box them up again but maybe, just maybe-- they'll decorate the walls of my heart. These are the very things that have shaped and molded my life. (Or how someone else's life or "story" touched mine) Well, I have no idea who, if any or many, read this blog....but I hope this journey brings you to a place that you give yourself permission to wrap your memories around you because they have molded you in some way to be who you are today. If nothing else, I hope you enjoy and are touched by the ways mine, and others hearts, have touched mine. That's all for now.....BUT OH IS MORE COMING SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lo

Where the Magic Happens

Ever feel you are in a box and, try as you may, can't get out? Sometimes life just gets to me. (I know I have prayers going up right now because you are very worried I'm flipping out finally...calm down...not happening) But I at times , I go back and wonder what if..... Now, you all can act like you have never thought that way , and you go right on telling yourself that, OK. I am sure I'm the only one on the planet who has a mind that wanders around at times. ONCE AGAIN......I love my husband , so this has nothing to do with him...Well, actually, it has everything to do with him....read on! You know, before I married, I really never thought about it seriously.Now don't get me wrong, I was always "in love" with someone, but for real-ever love...not me!!! Had other plans! I always saw myself living in a city overlooking concrete-- Never EVER saw ME living on a farm!!! lol I always really dreamed of spending at least SOME of my life in New York. I will be the first to admit, had I not gotten married when I did,I may have ended up in jail or something. I have always told my Kati I really think she saved my life.(since she really was why we decided to marry at 17 and 18) I've shared with you before I had no clue what I would have done with my life but still...I wonder. I sometimes fear I will go through my entire life and miss that "thing" I was supposed to do or to create. I have a feeling deep inside there is something from within that I am overlooking. Have no idea how I may have missed it since all I've done the past 18 or so years is soul search what I had hidden in the corners of my heart. True, much of it needed to be thrown out, but was I so scared of every single box that I possibly threw it out in an attempt to not be challenged or to step out and use what had been a gift to me all along? Fear of the unknown or the lie that "well, if I love it, God must not want me to use it or have it". I talked to a young friend of mine this morning who is getting the chance to study next semester in Italy! How amazing.....life changing. How incredible to have such an opportunity while still in college! Well,I realize that we all have life changing moments EVEN IF we don't live in a big city or travel abroad to experience them. Actually, I'd venture to say, most of the things that change our life are right in our lives daily. I have been a hopeless romantic ALL MY LIFE!!!!!! Anyone that has ever heard any of my lyrics can testify to that. I have always said the words are in the music and , for me, that's true. I remember when my younger daughter was going through a devastating breakup and heard a piece of music I was working on...no words yet....and with tears in her eyes that little lady crawled in my lap and asked if that music could be hers. She heard the beauty, the love, and the words with her heart before the first one was even written. So,a few months later, Marykelli got her wish and it is named,"Bryan's Song". (One of my favorites if I do say so myself---and , Marykelli and Bryan are together but THAT IS AN AWESOME STORY FOR LATER!!!!!!) Let's just say for the record, she gave me tons of inspiration for many years. I say this because growing up, I lived for the day the magic happened. You know, those moments that you dream about. The things that "dreams are made of" and as my older daughter says, "color the walls of your heart". Well, the things I thought about love I realized to be just that , a thought. Well, I love the romance....LOVE IT........but that feeling ( that I LOVE) is not real love. The "magic moments" never came ,or did they? Hank sure didn't come in riding a white horse with shinning armor on.(And NO WAY I would have gotten on a horse anyway...lol) He did not write me love songs,(however has cranked out a few poems---hilarious ones) , bring me flowers every day (some...) , or shower me with jewels or any big gifts. However, he has been there through losing our babies, life threatening injuries with Walt, sending girls to college, moving them home again, broken engagements, marriage and a divorce and all the breakdowns I had in between each one! Lying in bed with Hank's hand on my head praying me to sleep every night for a solid year...that's love. Then all the laughter he has brought into my life...and he taught ME to laugh. Really, lighten up, and just laugh!!! Now,THAT is love! He makes me soooo mad some days. (Last night I was so mad I slept on couch) But, I sure do love him!!! Only God can give love like that! So, I have learned that the "magic" is with us every day.It's in the "better or worse" . Now, even though we have had alot of "worse" we have a bunch of "better". The grass grows fast ---and I'm thankful God gave me a yard boy so I never have to mow---( God gave all the yard work , flower growing love to my sister... I'm an indoor girl) But I am thankful to live in my little house with grass and never really wish to live in a city anymore.(OH BUT AM SO READY TO VISIT!!!) The magic is watching ...my son start high school and watching him play tennis and soccer, my daughter starting her first teaching job, working with my other daughter every day, watching my little Rivers do anything ( especially when she just has to come see her Lo ) and just sharing life and all it's ups and downs with a man that really loves me.Really loves me!! My mama said no one else would have had me !!!! THINK she was kidding- but not real sure!!! ha ha No, come to think of it, I am sure she meant that!!! Well, I am surrounded by life's "magic "every day. And, I am really convinced I will explode if I don't find the "thing" I know is there. Maybe it's what drives me to write these words now. Whatever it is, I'll find it and along the way, I don't plan on missing the "magic" of my life and I believe it happens if we are aware of it or not! And so what if I may have thrown out something in a 'box'--- I may have thrown it out because of fear or assuming it was the right thing to do.However, I do believe if I need it, it will be provided at just the time I need it! So, the next time I feel boxed in, I'll remind myself I kicked out of that long ago, and in reality, I don't really think I was in there for very long or if I really was ever in a box at all! That's the way I see it anyway.

That's all I know for now,
LO

High School Already?

My baby started high school this week! 9Th grader....time flies!!! Well, with his past track record, I am just thankful he's alive! So guess it's bittersweet! Only a few faces remain from 'back in the day' when I roamed those halls, and boy did I ROAM!!!! Don't know if it's scarier that a few teachers are still there or that a few of my old classmates are now teaching! Boy, it's seems like yesterday when I started my freshman year at old HHS!!! It's so ironic that approaching this new chapter in my son's life that my graduating class is planning our 25Th class reunion. Several of our girlfriends had a spend the night party at a friends house one weekend to celebrate our 20Th year. Fun weekend and, being true to form with our class being blessed with "luck", we had to be evacuated on that early Sunday morning in August of 2005 due to Hurricane Katrina! (We had fun though!!) We rehashed everything we had done in our years that we were the rulers of HHS! We laughed, ducked in shame, and just were also thankful we survived and were in a better place now. I must say though, we were very creative with our schemes we came up with then!And DID WE COME UP WITH SOME MASSIVE ONES!!!!! I don't have enough battery left on my laptop to go into them right now, but I will share some of them soon!!! (the fall feel in the air will give me plenty of inspiration I KNOW!!!) I just have been amazed in meeting with former classmates how different, yet similar still things are. We have all done so much changing over 25 years...come on.....ALL OF US!!! However, walk back among classmates, and time rewinds. Yep, like nothing ever changed , except our looks and figures. Most of us , hopefully, have changed in many ways for the better. But.... with former classmates, time seems to stand still in some ways. I have always tried to tell my 3 children that every choice they are making is who they are becoming and each will determine where they will end up. So true!! I also told the youth when I was youth director at our church that we live in a very small town and many could end up living here someday. Not only does a reputation stick, but you could end up someday in Wal Mart and look down the line and your face may turn three shades of red looking up and seeing someone, or some one's wife, you may have had a past with. Even if it was innocent...It's HOUSTON!!!!! EVERYTHING gets twisted here---in any small town for that matter. I personally know the struggles and battles I've been through to get this far in life just to stay married, enjoy my family, and just to be free!!! But, the class of '85 doesn't know that Lori. I was a totally different person!!!! I take very little junk from people the way I did long ago. Don't want to be rude, but you certainly know what's going on and where you stand with me. Always hated two faced, bossy, arrogant people.(And those that made fun of others.) Well, unfortunately, we are as adults still faced with these types of people but the beauty is now , we can choose to be around them or not. Back then, we were out of luck. Now there were precious few I didn't really like but only very very precious few that I truly loved!!! I talk alot and always have....but it's funny how people think because I talk alot, I tell them anything. (or that they really know me in any way) Oh I am in ways an open book but have few true heart friends that I consider a gift from God!! And I know this because I prayed for Him to send me them. I also realized He sent a few early on and He'd just been growing us up all along, together. I truly hope as Walt starts his journey through HHS that God too sends him some true heart friends that will remain in his life all the way to eternity. You know, those that know the real you, warts and all, and love you anyway and sometimes BECAUSE of that...those are the ones I pray for Walt, and my girls for that matter.(always have prayed that for all of them) I look forward to October when we all get together and reminisce about the memories and years we all shared together. I also hope that when we walk away, we see the uniqueness in each one represented...the individuality....who they are ....who we all are! I feel I spent many years having sight but not seeing much of anything. Now, I don't want to miss a single thing! How about you? We always see what we are looking for. In people we either see good or bad! I just want to see people-really see them and hear what they are saying even when they don't say anything...because not saying anything sometimes speak the loudest. Ya think? Well, that's my goal anyway.

That's all I know for now,

LO