It's A Mystery

I do believe I have downloaded a European server on my computer! I have special skills like that. I have fallen in total love with a piece of music that I could only purchase on Amazon.com for $100 at the least...so I found a website that I could download it for free and jumped on that! Oh me...entirely new toolbar and on it is the degrees for some distant land as of 3 am...(17A F) What's up with that? My dear friend ,Mike Childs, laughed at me when I got my first computer and told him I was afraid I'd kill it until he came down and realized my computer was so slow because I had contacted over 700 viruses!!! He had underestimated my abilities for sure. It's a gift! However, I do believe I'd download this foreign website again because this music--- I am in awe! Ludovico Einaudi is the artist I am so enthralled with at the moment. He arranged this beautiful work I am listening to at this very moment. It is the most beautiful and unusual I have heard in some time. It gets deep inside my soul and just infiltrates my senses. If you don't know what I am talking about, the only comparison I can make is to when you first fall in love. I know love is not just a feeling but in the beginning...it better be! I am just completely captivated buy this haunting melody and use of chord progressions.Brilliant! You know, this is the very thing that I will never understand about myself. Left unchecked...could be very dangerous I assume.(I know) It's the mystery that captivates me when I get lost in music. It really takes me to a place that literally takes my breath and tears fill my eyes while emotions fill my soul...no words...just music... but heard everything this composer intended to share as he has poured into this masterpiece. Oh...if this could be bottled and sold on a shelf...someone would make a fortune! I actually heard it in the movie remake of Dr. Zhivago. The original movie was filmed in the 1960's ,I believe. Although I'll admit, I never watched it ...it could never be as good as the remake with Hans Matheson and Keira Knightly that was filmed in 2002. The story was the saddest ever but the music alone was worth the watch. (The 1960's music was hokey to me.) This however...oh me. The story of Yury and Lara... I have no words.The title of the piece I am listening to now is called 'The Mystery of Love'. (Did I mention it is beautiful??) At the beginning Yury Zhivago, who is a doctor of medicine and avid poet, posses the question to his friends if they think there is one person in this world that holds the key to the unlocked places of a persons heart.Well...I know the real answer is yes...(Jesus)....but we all know he meant a romantic love of a persons life. My friend, if artists and musicians didn't have this mysterious way to ponder life ...every beautiful thing ever written would be non existent.Even most of the Psalms. King David...I know he'd get this blog!(can't wait to meet him someday) And yes...his passion unchecked got him into trouble. The same great passion but it must be held accountable or it will lead to darkness. This has been the hardest thing to understand in my life. In my early years it was impossible to understand, and I learned many hard lessons. I have never really understood why God created this inside me and placed me in a small town in Mississippi. lol I love my life very much but will admit it's hard to relate to others sometime. What I wouldn't give to be content with the same routine every day!!! Most of the time I fit in just fine...but sometimes I really feel the fact that I will always struggle of some level. I feel ,and always have, like a square peg trying to force myself into a circle.It's never going to happen ,and I am finally at a point in my life that I get that and am ok with that. If others aren't ok with that or don't get it, or me,...well, I really don't care. God does.! Maybe someday I understand this soul-stirring gift and just what I am supposed to do with it. For now, I embrace it and just write it out or I will surely explode. However, I also am aware I may never know or understand this....but that's ok too. For many years thought it must be from the enemy ....but it's just who I am and last time I checked, Psalm 139 said "I am fearfully and wonderfully made". So, I just realize God gave this gift to me and just remember to allow Him to continue to be in control of my life and then all will, or will not, be revealed...His call! If you are reading this, you may be scratching your head thinking , "What is she talking about?"...but for those that 'get it'....you know.... you know....

Lo