I am baking Christmas goodies…again! Smells of cinnamon fill my little house as I sit here on my computer in the glow of my Christmas tree!! I have loved Christmas since I was a little girl. I remember having my own little Christmas tree in my room with small wrapped items (I already had) for my baby dolls.(we had our own Christmas in my little world in my room) Memories come with every turn it seems. It starts the minute I take out the very first decoration. Ahh…there it is…the ornament I got when Kati was born. At 18 years old, who would have ever thought I’d have had the sense to take care of it and it still be in tact after 25 years!!And there is Marykelli’s Popsicle stick Rudolph ornament she made in kindergarten… and Walt’s Veggie Tale ornament that he loved and his soccer ball ornaments collection. (got one every year for awhile there I believe) Then I see the box with all the kids drawings I have saved since they had motor skills.(and yes…I still hang every one of them up) Then..pictures with Santa, every little decoration that I can ASSURE you has a story behind it, and so on and so forth!!! It’s truly like it’s all fresh and brand new each year as if I have never seen it all before…and yes, I tear up just looking at them! Then there is the music!! Nothing at all, as you know well, makes me recall a memory like a song!!! I love them all. “Hark the Herald” is my favorite hymn …although I love each one!! Then there is “Mary Did You Know” --“Welcome to our World”. … “The Christmas Song” “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”…the list is endless!! Sitting here now however, my heart drifts back to my ‘Christmas Pasts’. I can remember my grandmother and granddaddy’s silver Christmas tree with blue Christmas balls on it as if it were yesterday. My mother was an only child so that made Kathy and I the only grandchildren. Kathy was 5 years older than me and that made me “the baby”…and I milked it for all it was worth! (Alright…I still love being the baby..I admit it!!) I can close my eyes and still see the candles on her buffet that my Mamaw put out each year. One of them was a big candle , and I believe there were elves on a couple of candles as well. The feeling in that little house was soooo cozy. You know, the kind you can feel all around you like a warm blanket. They had a special gift of always making everyone feel welcome and always showered family and friends with love and were known for their great hospitality.(AND FOOD!!)Every Christmas we’d sit around the table FULL of food and every year my granddaddy would ask “Wonder what the poor folks are eating?” Later, we’d be asked if we’d seen Merry. We’d say, “Merry who?” to his reply.. “Merry Christmas!” Oh, to sit in their house around that heater in that den again… or smell, better yet taste, her chocolate pie.(HER DRESSING or anything my Mamaw had made) Mostly, I just wish I could just talk to them, hug them, LISTEN to them…really, really listen to them. Then , of course , I have tons and tons of my immediate family memories growing up as well. That Kathy!! She NEVER EVER woke up with me on Christmas morning with me. Well, maybe when I was tiny, but my memory vaguely recalls it. Lol Bless her…I would wake up about 5am!! I would be bouncing off the walls!! Then, I would run to her room and tell her everything she had gotten. Still , nothing!!! She slept so late…still blows my mind how she slept so long on CHRISTMAS MORNING!! I always was totally enthralled with everything I had gotten! I remember well my 5th grade Christmas. I had gotten everything I’d asked for and was surprised with a tape recorder of my very own. (Everyone else’s nightmare ---that would later be discovered) I also got the record “Hey Deanie” by Shawn Cassidy. LOVED IT!!! Now, anyone that really, really knows me knows I get stuck on a song, and it will be played over and over and over until I am sick of it!! So..yes, even at 10 years old, I did this. So early on Christmas morning, I recorded that song onto a cassette that accompanied us the rest of the day. Often, our family would go to my Aunt Bessie’s in Columbus which we did that year. As I said, mama was an only child but boy did she have extended family! Aunt Bessie’s daughter, Bobbie, had always been just like her sister so we usually spent most every holiday with them. Bobbie was married to Van and it was heaven for me to go stay with them. However, I had a little too much imagination and way too much energy for Bobbie at times. That Christmas, I am pretty sure she hid my tape recorder for a little while. I know she looked at me in exhaustion and asked me… “Do you ever get tired?” At that age, the answer was “never!”That was also the first year I actually got to sit in a chair without sitting on top of catalogs to reach the table. Believe it or not, I remember what I even wore that day. Actually, I encountered a strange coincidence this morning. We are having a family Christmas dinner at our church tomorrow night and as tradition goes, I will sing “The Christmas Song” again this year.(It is a standard request every year) Anyway, I was looking for the accompaniment tape and found a cassette that looked strangely familiar but very old. Come to find out, it was something I recorded years ago on that very Christmas on little tape player. (It’s a miracle Bobbie didn’t pull the tape out) Kathy and I were messing around singing and acting like the silly little girls we were. (Although she was 15 when I was 10…we could always connect on some level) Then, of course, the playing of Christmas songs by my mama. I love to hear her play and that started long ago!!! Oddly, one of my very favorite songs to sing was “Christmas in Kalarney” which is an Irish Christmas song. I have never heard it anywhere but my mama’s house at Christmas and I like it that way. (It’s our special song) Many, many memories standing around the piano singing song after song with her. So many memories…then…Kathy and I grew up and had 3 prissy girls!!(Walt came years later) They took up with the entertainment and ran with it! Kati, our bossy firstborn, came up with Christmas productions. Hands down, all our favorite was the Christmas program in the barn. Kati was in the 2nd grade, Marykelli was in 1st grade (with no 2 front teeth), and Kirbi was in K5! Aunt Tot, however, was about 70. I remember vividly the day Kati handed me a list for the grocery store and Wal Mart. Hank was summonsed to cut down a Christmas tree but only the girls and Aunt Tot were allowed in the playhouse at the barn. The list included ingredients for the menu I was to prepare for the guests they were to invite. Wassail, snack food, pecan pie….then the Wal Mart list..red and green decorative beads , pipe cleaners, paint, and sweatshirts!! I was at least informed on some level about the secret service being planned since I had to do some labor.(And was the financial backer of this production) It touched my heart to watch them plan. Well, Kati plan and dictate but it was well received. lol With the beads and pipe cleaners, we all sat in the floor and made Christmas wreath ornaments. They were soon whisked away to the barn. The sweatshirts…well I did get to design them. Kati and Marykelli’s hands were painted green and red and then placed on white sweatshirts. (Each unique to the receiver) Theirs simply said Merry Christmas! Mine said, Merry Christmas Mommy! Others were for Aunt Tot(of course) Nana and Mawmaw. We were to all wear them at the performance..and we did!!!Christmas Eve before our candlelight service at our church, the guests began to arrive into the little barn. Every family member on both sides were invited and then some others as well. Each of us crammed tightly inside the little barn! As we waited for the program to begin it hit me…. These little angels were about to share a gift with us we’d never forget. Tears filled my eyes as I saw the little decorated tree for the first time. Popcorn string, paper ornaments, and there were the wreaths we made together in the den. Then, it began…. Silent Night, Away in a Manger, Jolly Old St Nicholas (with motions) were all preformed. Then in closing, Aunt Tot said a sweet prayer for the little girls and thanked God for Jesus. Then, Kati in true form, took over and invited all to the house for refreshments and asked for each guest to take an ornament from the tree as a special gift. I still hang that wreath on my tree each year and thanks to modern technology, watch that program over as well because it’s on video!!!I was correct, that gift is one of the greatest, by far , I have ever been given…a gift from the pure heart of children…a gift of love. Then years later, God sent Mr. Walt to our little family! Then, a new world opened up to us. Life through the eyes of a little boy!! Well, even though he didn’t have a sidekick like Kati and Marykelli had, he had/has his daddy, Hank…which was the best side kick he could ask for. Now this little man of mine has loved Christmas as well as anyone. He loves every second as much as anyone of us. He loves family and friends to be in and out and in and out. We really can’t remember our house not being grand central station at Christmas. People know I always have a pot of coffee, spiced tea and hot chocolate are always ready at a moments notice, and Christmas cookies and candy are a given. Everyone and anyone are welcome at anytime!! As time has passed, things and the faces have changed. Kati was married and blessed us with Rivers! WOW!!! Fun gal!!! I have never been one for change but guess what????Life happens and it changes daily!! Now, Kati and Rivers live next door and all my babies are on the hill again!!! So…sitting in the glow of my tree I ask myself…what will it be like next year? Marykelli is engaged and getting married within a few months. Kati, well, I just know this very well may be the last year for her and Miss Rivers to be on the hill also. As much as it breaks my heart, Hank and I always tried to show and teach our children how to live so they could fly someday. I just didn’t expect to feel this way. You know, I have had babies and noise around me since I was 18. Walt has never known any holiday, or life for that matter, without being surrounded by women bossing him.(How will he ever survive..they’ve done everything for him too) We have always been sooo close!!! So knowing this Christmas will be the last Christmas we’re all together like this is tender to my mother’s heart. One thing I do know, we are all extremely close, so I know that will not change. But I sure will miss them. God knew I needed friends. I prayed for best girlfriends all the time after I got married. I really longed for Christian women friends. …and that God….He allowed me to give birth to the best two I’ll ever have! WHAT A GIFT!!!! So, thinking back to Christmas pasts, being aware to drink deeply of each blessing this Christmas and enjoying each new memory we make, make me see the Christmas future with joy! GREAT JOY!! True, Christmas has changed over the years for me. Each year God has given me wisdom to understand what change means and shows me in each circumstance to embrace and treasure always! What will next year be like??I have no idea, but Jesus will still be the reason for the season and that should remain 365 days a year. Many loved ones have passed on, and yes, some will move, but memories warm my heart and still wrap around me like a blanket from all those years ago in my grandparents house. That’s love! Maybe I just noticed it more, as a child ,at holidays…but the love was always there. It’s the same love I have experienced in my adult home all these years and it’s the same love that will remain!!! And you know what…the exact same love that will continue to create many wonderful memories in the future. The love of Jesus! Just like the gift of love I experienced from my childhood…and the gift of love my little girls gave us that night in the barn…God gave us one much more special..The PERFECT GIFT of LOVE!! And yes, through the innocent love only a child can give! But the gift of Jesus was perfect love..spotless…blameless…pure love!! Now that gift He gave us in a barn that first Christmas was the one that truly keeps giving! The real miracle didn’t happen on 34th Street…it happened in Bethlehem over 2,000 years ago! John 3:17 says “For God did not send His Son into the world that He might judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.” Now, that’s the gift. So true…with our traditions we celebrate in our own way… It may seem strange to some or even pointless to some…but oh-- the true joy that is in our hearts at Christmastime…is the joy only He brings! The message “For unto us is born this day in the city of David a Savior which is Christ the Lord” is still the heart of Christmas. Charles Dickens once said “A Christmas family party! We know of nothing in nature more delightful!” How true…traditions are rooted in such love..that sure echo the first Christmas to me…LOVE! Billy Graham even said once that the first essential for a happy home is love. For the poor souls that just don’t get it…Christmas is much much more than a time to spend money and eat! If I may quote one of my spiritual heroes, Corrie ten Boom “When I think of Christmas Eves, Christmas feasts, Christmas songs, and Christmas stories, I know it was not a short time and transient gladness, It was-and is-a joy unspeakable and full of glory!!” I whole heartily agree! So after the 25th of December has passed, the treasured memories will remain forever and ever…but most importantly…Jesus remains! Share His love this season and throughout the entire year. Christmas is not really a day of year now is it..it’s actually a condition of a heart!! Renew yours by celebrating and worshiping Jesus this season. No one can truly worship God and remain unchanged!!! Receive the gift of Jesus, renew your gift of Jesus, and most of all share your gift of Jesus! Merry Christmas my dear , dear and special friends! Go enjoy your “Christmas Present”…because God Himself holds “Christmas Future” in His hands! I close with Charles Dickens “ God bless us, everyone!”
Merry Christmas,
LO
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