Let's Just Fly

I woke up this morning so ready to write...then the rest of the day happened!! I am thankful for every blessing in my life and all, but somedays just stinks! I have spent hours trying to figure out this stupid itune folder in my computer!!!!! It just makes me so mad when I squander my time and accomplishing nothing. The point to spending time on my computer is to relax....yeah, right! I am so mad it makes me wish I still smoked so I could go smoke one!!! (Don't worry anyone that may be reading. I haven't in 8 years so I don't think I'll let a fight with my computer have that power over me! ) It's just been a strange week. Houston, Ms is a very small town and two days ago, three deaths occured between here and our surrounding community. One young man was killed in a car accident, one older gentleman lost his battle with cancer, and one older gentleman took his own life. What do you say to that? There are no words. Life sure is precious. It just struck me that 3 different lives were gone in 3 totally different ways! Three different families will forever be changed. Not to mention the ripple effect each life had on others. We humans think we are all knowing in this age we live but faced with our immortality we are speechless. God and God alone holds our lives in His hands and He alone is all knowing. You know, the most speculation of these 3 deaths has by far been the gentleman that took his life. Now bless that family for the unanswered questions and second guessing I'm certain is going through their hearts and minds. Scripture teaches that NO ONE knows the heart of another....just God alone. So, my thing is, let's all just let God be God. I, for one, have battled serious depression in my life as I'm almost certain many of the population has at one time or another. Praise God that my nature is not to stay where I am but try to seek help anyway I can. This was the darkest time in my life and I was so lonely. Of course there were others around me at all times but that did not make any difference. When I finally got the courage to share my darkness with a clergy member, he basically scolded me. Sure, consequences to decisions paved the way for this pit of despair I was in, but.......my pastor? Not only did he scold me but betrayed my trust by sharing my "life" with others! You must understand , it took me years to get nerve to tell anyone my "stuff" then that! Well, others certainly noticed and many responded with' just snap out of it' . Oh, dear friend, if it were that easy. Well, without getting into too much more of this story(which I have often shared in settings that invite hearing what God has done that changed my entire life,marriage , and family...and Hank shares also) let me just say there are no words to describe how disheartening it is to hear those words. Nothing would please someone battling depression than to snap out of it. Society has come so far, but I find this subject still is not spoken of often. Well, it is something each of us should pray for discernment because either you, or someone you love will ,or has already, experienced this in their lifetime. In my case, I sought out family and friends to pray with me , went to Christian counseling( EVERY TIME I came home told Hank I was NOT going back---I did and it saved my life) and Bible study! Finally, I took medication that I am still on today and may always be. I now feel myself again! I will forever have a heart for a hurting sister or brother and please always understand that you never really know what it's like in someones shoes until you have literally walked in them. God has used this greatly in my life and what Satan meant for evil, God uses for His glory and good almost every day of my life in someway. Please pray that God will grow your heart to have compassion on others especially in the ways we don't always understand! We seem to want to put everything and ,everyone in pretty little boxes . Well, I personally would suffocate in one and almost did. If the Son sets you free, you are free indeed! AMEN!!!!!!!!!!! I'm free, are you???? Then fly and if along the way you see a fallen on....help them find their wings! Do you think I think I know everything, I certainly hope, and bet, you don't. I do know our thoughts aren't His thoughts. He uses everything! And I MEAN EVERYTHING!!!! YOU CAN NOT OUT SIN GOD!!!!! His grace is greater and goes lower than your worst mistake.( Hey, your sin can't be worse than mine so don't start believing the lie that you already have!!!!! YOU HAVE NOT) !!) I am a work of recycled trash in progress!. He uses cracked pots and trades beauty for ashes . Seek Him, and you WILL find Him! I'm so weird and you know, I really don't care! "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" scripture says. He loves you soooooo much! He made you--you! So what if you are weird or don't fit "in the box" or always " color in the lines" ! PRAISE GOD for your individuality! Let's all relax and get comfortable in our on skin and for once---just live! Really live!! That God is something....I started out wanting to smoke and pitch a fit over this silly computer and now- I'm a peaceful as I can be. Life happens!!!! We are growing or dying, stifled or trying....but if you know someone lonely or crying---pray for them and love them! You may be the only Bible they ever see. Wear Him well!!!! If you are reading this, please pray for the 3 families I have mentioned. It doesn't matter one bit that you don't know their names, God does!! May God bless each of you!

That's all for now,
LO

Things I Learned From Alice Horton

Well, today I'm on a rant about Days of our Lives!!!! That show makes me SOOO MAD!!!!!!!!!!! Been watching this show for 30 years.(Can I get a witness?--pretty sure I just heard a few AMENS!!!) Come on Ken Cordey...stop teasing us with Samantha Brady and Elvis DeMeria. It is high time these two be together. HELLO??? For years now I keep thinking " this time it'll work...then Rafe happens! Please....This is exhausting me! I really don't know why I watch this show. My oldest daughter calls it "soap scum"! lol That may be true, but I sure do love this show now! I remember in the 10th grade, I skipped school to watch Bo and Hope run off somewhere (sorry Mama) and recorded Kayla's and Patch's wedding. (pitiful) By the way, I'd been against them had I known what a BRAT of a daughter they'd have later in life! Melissa and Pete did good with Nathan though. NOT THE POINT...my main point is that although it may seem a waist of time to some and just pure trash, but I have learned lots from Alice Horton over the years. Well first, and most importantly, she always loved and had the highest respect for husband! (probably only woman on show that did--besides Maggie) But just know, she new how to make her family work. I know, I know, he was the GREAT DR.HORTON and was easy to respect--- but hey...late hours, emergencies would arise and hey--their poor kids were screwed up! However, she also demonstrated how to love unconditionally! Wow....what a lady! Another tip from that dear one was that doughnuts could solve almost any problem! Many a day I watched "Gran" whip a big batch of her special doughnuts. Over all her crazy grandchildren love problems, deaths of friends, and on one occasion she made some 'break out of jail doughnuts ' for Roman Brady. Now that was back in the day when was Roman. He was a cool dude. He was also played by a different character. The one now was formerly Chris Kosciusko on this same show. He had a bar called Shenanigan's. Here is another example of Ken Cordey making us all feel stupid....we noticed when Roman came back from the dead for the 5th or 6th time that it was not the REAL ROMAN!!! Oh, well NOT THE POINT! There are many other wonderful qualities I could expound on such us her countless hours volunteering at the hospital,etc....but my number one favorite lesson, or tradition, I learned from Alice would be her art of decorating her Christmas tree!! PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!! I promise TO THIS DAY every Christmas, our family set one night aside for the trimming of the tree. It is an event let me tell you! We each have names on our ornaments!! (more than on also) And when someone becomes part of our lives and becomes just like family(have about 3 in lifetime we've done this with) they get an ornament also. And our girls guys also had one. That got confusing and we decided to wait to see how long they actually stay around before they get one. We have just added Marykelli's guy back to the tree after 3 years of being back together...we feel good about him! Well, our little tree is very special to us! Thanks Alice Horton. Christmas will not be right not decorating tree at your house this year. I guess crazy Hope will inherit the ornaments! Well, I'm sure they'll be new ones added and maybe some taken down. You know, the biggest twists on this show is always the fact you could always find out you are really a Horton.....or these days.....a DeMeria!!
Well, that all I know for now.....
LO

Oh, Those Summer Nights

Nothing compares to the smell of a southern summer night to take you back to a well of memories....................
So many to choose from. Let's see....playing a neighborhood game of Kick the Can, Jailbreak, or how could we ever leave out--spin the bottle!! Oh me--memories! I remember sitting out on my patio many nights, smoking cigarettes with my best friend while catching rolly pollies!!! We usually were listening closely for our guy friends that were crazy idiots who insisted periodically jumping in the pond on the Country Club golf course that just happened to be behind my house. I also lived next door to the high school football quarterback. Oh did all the ladies think he was hot or what?! lol I never really saw it. He was truly the brother I had never had. Since I was 4 we'd been neighbors so needless to say...our house was the house to be for a time. Well, I remember all the fun we'd have just riding around with music blaring. All the entire bunch of us hung out in the Pak a Pok parking lot it seemed. Little did we know, our youth really would pass sooner than we thought. We had no idea the memories we were making, we just knew we were having fun!
My mama never really knew who would be sleeping in our den floor when she woke up in the mornings during summer. It was nothing to have girls wall to wall in our den--and she always had hot pancakes when we woke up. My best friend's mother was the same way though. She welcomed company. (at least our mama's knew were we were) I was so blessed to be loved enough to have a home where people felt welcome. True, we were BY FAR little angels, but I am almost certain our mothers knew that too. They just let us experience life and allowed us to fall down in safe places so they could lovingly help us up. I didn't realize until I got married that not everyone had the overnight guests, privacy, or chance to experience much of anything as a kid. Please know my parents did not know, much less allow me to smoke on the patio, but at the same time, they weren't monitoring my every move either. Yes, some say they should, but I am truly glad they didn't. For some reason in trusting me even when I didn't deserve it, I learned to be trustworthy. I am almost certain I would have run away had I grown up in some homes!!!! Thrown out for sure...ha ha ha Oh, well, summer magic still lives in the heart of every young person and for those fortunate enough to still be young at heart! No matter if you are catching lightening bugs, rolly pollies(Julie) or kisses....breathe it all in very deep--These memories you are making are the pictures you take with your heart. Frame and preserve them well!

That's all I know for now,
LO

I love to write my thoughts down. I decided to write this blog because I have kept a journal now for 20 years. The love for writing actually was kindled in my heart about age 12. I was in Deana Patterson's english class. She had us start each morning out with journaling. How cool was that??? From that time on, I don't remember not being aware of what was going on inside and how much clearer everything seemed when I wrote it all down. She had us write stories by looking at magazine articles. We'd imagine what we thought may be happening in that picture and off our young minds would go. Of course, mine were always mushy love stories. After all, that was the year of first loves. I was begining to wonder if I'd ever get over mine. lol Well, FIVE YEARS LATER....finally, I moved on. I laugh and realize now we're were much more really close friends than any romantic notion I'd dreamed up, but....oh well. God truly was watching over my crazy young dreamer self even then. It's amazing how God works in all things but 25 years since we married and all is well. You know, its really amazing that Hank ever even remotely 'got me' in the least. I have always marched to my own drummer for sure. Folks in Houston didn't really know what to think of me I don't think. I have always had many friends, some real heart friends, and felt welcome in most all circles. However, at the same time never quite felt I fit in. I know that sounds strange, but you can be around people all the time and still be very much alone. By age 15, during on of my many teen love dramas, I wrote my first song."It Was You" Now that set me on a brand new fire! I'd been singing for years. I'd been writing poems for years...but this music just begin to just fill up in me and from that, a song was born. For me, the words are always in the music. ALWAYS! It was such a blessing and distraction though. My friends loved it too. I'd recorded at a make shift home studio of a friend. We had piano,thanks to my extremely talented voice coach. Drums, base, accustic guitar....ooooo still get excited reliving it in my mind just now. I won local talent shows and even was asked to sing it a the Mid South Fair in Memphis. Boy, "my head was in the clouds" as older people would say. I didn't need school anymore. I was going to be a famous singer songwriter. Or atleast I'd write for Hallmark. Oh, that thinking got me nowhere!!! Well, grounded I'll say. My grades suffered so badly that year that a friend and I decided we'd have a set of fake report cards...oh me, that is an entire other story. (God, please bless my poor mama and daddy again today in a special way) Needless to say, I learned many things the hard way. It would make my parents so angry at me because I really had great potential as a student when I would try. Eventually, I did become a more possitive student but could still kick myself for not really trying harder. You know, I wish someone besides my parents would have encouraged me. If someone had mentioned with the grades, I could use that to major in the things that actually interested me. In the early 80's you were encouraged to be a nurse or teacher...or something along those lines. Well, that bored me to tears!!! I never really could decide anything I'd rather be than a writer of some kind. When I had been married a few years, I began writing music again. Hank was totally supportive and, I recorded several songs over the years in Nashville and surrounding studios. My heart was no longer in the fame part though. God had taken over my heart so after some really bad choices, that dream begin to die.Little did I know, just for a new one to begin. That God always knows what He's doing!!! IMAGINE THAT! GOD BEING GOD! Well, I wrote a childrens book for my children for their bedtime story. Years later when my youngest daughter came home from college, she illustrated it. It is still in the drawer, but someday-----I began writing in journals all the time. I realized something through all this....that I am a writer. Can't spell and am not great at grammer rules either, but I love to write. I have to write. You know I, like many of you, have made really bad mistakes in my life. Some may say life altering. I never went on to school because I had 2 girls 20 months apart. I stayed home with them and we grew up together. I loved,after the first 10 years, being a wife and taking care of my little family! Then, when the girls were 11 and 9, we had Walt. Then the teenage life with two girs....who had time for anything else. I can't chew gum and walk so there is NO WAY I could have had a normal job or career and fulfilled the call on my life of taking care of my family. Now there's nothing wrong with women working and HOW I ADMIRE THEM!!!! My Kati is one of them. (She's one of my greatest heroes) I did work at our church with the youth for 7 years and that will for sure birth many stories later. Oh my will it ever!!! But , my heart has and always will be at home. It used to really bother me that I never went to school and got a degree. Somehow I felt like I was beneath others. Saddly, I was obviously looked down upon by others in our little town because of it too. But on this side of life, it doesn't bother me in the least. True, life could have been a little easier maybe and we may not have lived on top on one another in our tiny little house . But a dear, dear friend of mine told me once that our little family may not be as close if we'd had more room. You see, we never could get away from one another. And all I ever wanted to do is write. So, what am I doing right this very minute......writing. Life is good!! I have no regrets. The long field trips in life God used to teach me many lessons are the very things that make me , me. And I'm ok with that. And you know, if I were asked today what I want to be when I grow up --I'll still answer,"I think a writer of songs, books, and who knows.....Hallmark, watch out!!!!"
That's all for now.

LO

Well, I went to a old timey homecoming today . It is a lovely, one room church WITH NO INDOOR PLUMBING, back in the middle of nowhere. This little church has services once a year for this special event. I think back a few years ago, my mama and daddy had to bribe me to go anywhere it seemed. Well, with them that is. I remember well not being allowed to go to the Drive-Inn on Sunday night unless I went to Sunday night church first. I can't begin to tell you one single thing any preacher said during that time....however the lesson was not lost! Ralph and Pat knew just what they were doing. They knew me! Parents just crack me up these days.Or maybe word is"frustrate" me! I have heard many times ,especially mom's , compare parenting skills. "I don't do that" or "I should do that if such and such does" LADIES....when will we stop looking around and look UP! God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave each child to each set of parents. My dear friend,andprayer partenerealized , long ago that what worked for her kids and what worked for mine in discipline , and many other approches to life, were totally different. I know that God says each are "fearfully and wonderfully made" and I know He wired Hank and I just as he wired Kati, Marykelli, and Walt to match and be a perfect fit.Are there any perfect parents, HEAVENS NO!!!! Unfortunately, God did not give us an instruction book with them, or did He? I think He did. Yes, each of us, and our children have free will....but He is there to guide us through. Hank and I married when we were 17 and 18.(NOT RECOMENDED) I'd never been around a baby ever! I gave my life to the Lord at 19. Begged Him to help me be a good mommy. Don't know what "good"is or just what I meant, but He never left me. When you seek, you find! God has blessed Hank and I and 25 years later, we are blessed beyond what we ever imagined with our little family.(which now includes a 3 year old granddaughter named Rivers) Even though they didn't , and don't, always get why we do certain things, and yes, occationally bribery is involved, they do it anyway. Our only prayer is that in their free will, they always see the why.....because of Jesus. Not what anyone thinks, says, or anything like that....but just about Jesus. Not a religion or rule keeping....but a relationship. Oh, my poor little Mama and Daddy were so worn out by the time I was 17, God knew I needed Anne Harrington at that time. Well, the MAJOR blessing of my inlaws will be an entire other story...so, I just want to thank God for this special time with my family today in that little tiny church in the woods. But today, I mainly want to just thank Him and praise Him for wiring Pat and Ralph Thomas up for me!!!! They were , and still are, THE BEST!!!! When I didn't know how to be a parent, God just spoke His Word into my life, and looking back, I naturally longed for the Christian home I grew up in! I'll be sharing some of my teen adventures and you will probably see a little why my parents were worn out....but oh, thanks God for the LOVE they lavished on me! Now, they don't even have to ask if I'll go with them, I ask them can I go!!! Know what, they always say yes! I just love them!

That's all for now,
LO

Just For Your Information

I really have no idea what this is going to be like, but I'm excited. Just know, I am a woman of many moods.That always seems to be a negative word,"mood". Well, I rejoice in the fact that I, and no one really, is the same all the time. Well, I am NEVER in the same mood from day to day.(you'll see) I get excited over things I see God doing in my life and have to share those blessings!! However, I have an opinion on almost everything , and unfortunately, most everyone I meet. I do seem to see things the way they are and usually am right on the money. That may be a gift, but at times seems like a curse. I get into reality television entirely too much and OH MY......Days of our Lives can send me into orbit!I really feel the Horton's are my family and really wish I could have sent flowers to Alice's funeral.(now for those who don't know me well, I am joking) However, I LOVE THAT SHOW! Am big big fan of Ej and Sami(KEN CORDAY,THEY BELONG TOGETHER...HELLO!) Now, bet some of you are already thinking, "I don't know what to think of that Harrington woman" ...see, that's what I am all about. This is who I am. Just me. I may be out there, but on some level, hope you can relate. Relax, it's ok to think, feel, laugh...we are all cracked pots in some way. That's the beauty of life! Hope you will be entertained or enlightened ! And just know, I don't spell very well! Just wanted you to be warned so you would not be embarrased thinking I wasn't aware of that fact!

Well, that's all for now!
LO