I can only go so long in life and then...I crash!! I am winding down even as I type from weeks,maybe months, of whirlwind activity. Our family has run from event to event to event. Whoever created the slogan for V-8 about it giving you strength to go on all 8 cylinders...lied or clearly lives a very boring life. I need hard core caffeine... STRONG- BLACK COFFEE... and plenty of it!! At one point last week, I was working on three different lists at the same time! I don't multi-task for prolonged periods of time without a giant meltdown!! So I have poured me a large cup of coffee and in order to process the build up inside, I must get the words out of my system.
In our family, we had two birthdays, two weddings, a graduation , a 50th wedding anniversary celebration, and a end of school tennis banquet!! WHEW!! Hey...this is also Bible School week at our church! Lo is tired!! It is so funny because Kati's church is also having Bible school this week but Miss Priss Rivers wanted to come to ours! LOL So..guess where she went? Yep---with me! She is too much fun! I love every single bit of life but when I am out of 'gas'--I am just out of gas. It would help if I was not dying of menopause and could actually sleep at night...but NOOOO!It is impossible to sleep when you feel you will internally combust at any moment!!! So.. a good night sleep has almost become a distant memory! I have tried to turn air down lower but my poor Hank is next to me looking pitiful. He has his Darth Vader mask on(for sleeping disorder) and he is freezing and has the cover up right to the mask! We are something else I tell you! He usually gets hot because I radiate and he throws cover off only to put it back on! This is every single night and when you mix it with a busy schedule, it doesn't fair very well. Well, maybe tonight will be the night I will get some sleep! I can dream can't I? I have always been a night owl but never like this!I am thinking tonight may an Ambien night!
One thing I have always treasured about having unexpected time though is I can always use it! If I am waiting on someone or just can't sleep...I can find something to do and make most of the moment. It is the same way I look at getting lost and boy can I get lost!!!! (I really should have a GSP but...) When I get lost, I feel like it is an adventure and love the scenery. Yes, I have been late quite a few times for this reason but I sure enjoyed the journey,and often the surprising route , I took getting to my destination. The scariest time I was lost was once in Birmingham. I was singing with my gynecologist's band (yes..my gynecologist),The Gantz, at his son's engagement party! I left the country club to meet a former classmate for dinner with directions in hand. Although, all had talked me through them more than once...the moment I was on my own...I think my ADD kicked in and my mind went blank. Here I am at 10 pm, in an evening gown, and LOST IN BIRMINGHAM,ALABAMA! I became more confused at every turn. Time passed and so did my fuel gauge. I was approaching empty and as the clock turned MIDNIGHT..the only sign flashing open was an all night dry cleaners! Really??I am pretty gutsy but there was NO WAY I was getting out in a shady section of Birmingham, in a sequin cocktail dress, at midnight and prance into the cleaners! I don't think so! I started praying as the gas light was now on and to this day I have no clue how I found the right turn but found myself driving down a familiar section and soon found the way back to the freeway and literally passed my hotel.(of course I had to U turn but it's the wee hours of morning) I called my friend who suggested I just carry window paint with me everywhere I went and write on the back window PLEASE EXCUSE MY DRIVING BUT I AM FROM A SMALL TOWN IN MISSISSIPPI! Well, I didn't enjoy getting lost that time...but normally I don't mind at all!(especially if pretty houses--preferably old homes---are on the street) Kati and I are always wanting to go on a road trip to anywhere but who would drive?? We may not get to our destiny when planned, but I guarantee we will have a blast getting there!! That is the best part to me anyway..getting there!!! How sad for people to always rush and never enjoy getting anywhere. Not taking the time to watch the sunset, listen to the sounds outside at night, look--really look-- at the stars, visit with friends and family, etc...just be. Wherever you are...be all there! Everything has beauty but how sad that not everyone sees it. The saddest thing of all, many don't even know how!Living and being alive are two different things. True, we may all be alive but we are not all living. It may be fear, anger, jealousy, pride....or most anything that can keep us from truly living. Anything that keeps us from living is our prison. I prefer freedom myself! God's word says,"If the Son shall set you free, you shall be free indeed!!" I lived in a prison of my own making for many years. I stored up unforgiveness, bitterness,anger, and many destructive things inside! It was like acid!! "An acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." to quote Mark Twain. I learned from going down many roads that I would never get back to my destination until I was back on the correct road. God knows the way home. Sometimes, I get so tired!!! Tired of... waiting on things to work out, being misunderstood, being misquoted or flat our lied about or having my words twisted! At times I get soooo tired of waiting to add on to our house ,or move , until we have saved enough to pay cash for the bulk of it or waiting on people to be healed or....basically, I(we all) get tired of waiting! However, it's in the getting there there where the memories are. Sure...when my babies were all little, I was tired! But I enjoyed every single second that they lived, and that Walt still lives, in this house. [Home NOT house-big big difference] We live in a tiny house but instead of being miserable in it, we have LAUGHED AND CRIED BUCKETS OF TEARS!!We have played games, gone to proms, watched a million movies, ate thousands of meals and in the midst of these walls--a family was born! There has always been enough love in this HOME to make it through anything and everything! We love company and our door is always open! We have learned many things in the waiting and GOD HAS BLESSED US IN IT ALL!!! Through the trials...we learned to find the beauty and in the thorns we found the blessings! They have shown up everywhere! Through getting married at 17 and 18, having babies, losing babies, almost losing our son on two different occations....and almost losing our marriage at one point! But you know...that is where our life happened...it has been while we were waiting that our life has been lived and lessons learned. That is where we have loved, forgiven, played, laughed, and just had a ton of fun! Life doesn't have a neat little bow tied on it, but it is still a gift!! A WONDERFUL GIFT!! I sure want to open it and use it while I can!! I think life is too short to "get your knickers in a knot" about everything. It solves nothing and makes you walk funny! So the next time you can't sleep is there something you can do? Is God allowing you special unplanned time with Him? Do you need to write a letter to someone, pray for someone, read a book, or work on whatever your passion is? Maybe just to watch a great movie or just be! Many nights I journal or write a blog only to realize all that's inside needs releasing! He created us to each be free so find your wings and fly! If your burdens are heavy...give them to Him...He's already up anyway!! And hey, the next time you take a wrong turn on an actual road, or in life...just turn around and get back on the right road and remember to look out the window on the way because there are so many things to see along the way!
That's all for now,
LO
